It was one of those days when I just wanted to wallow and feel sorry for myself. I wanted to think about everything that I wasn’t happy about in my life and about and be miserable about it. I didn’t want to put on my smiley face and pretend everything was perfect. I didn’t invite anyone to my party, I didn’t want them there either. I wanted to feel even lonelier and having people there wouldn’t help. I didn’t want to leave the house. I just wanted to be 100% miserable!
My very own personal pity party!!
What was I so upset about? I was sick of feeling alone, I was tired of seeing everyone else with their significant others all happy and loving and I didn’t have my own person, I was missing my boy as it was Daddy’s weekend, I was mad about that whole situation and how there is nothing I can do to change it, I was tired of constantly feeling tired, I was tired of losing the same 5lbs only over and over again, I was tired of looking in the mirror and not being happy what I saw, I was unhappy about not having enough money ever, I was tired of feeling like a broken record with my complaints to my family and friends, I was tired of seeing all the bad things happening in the world on TV. It was everything and anything.
And then, like a kid’s birthday party, it was over in a couple of hours.
I got up, brushed myself off and said “damn it, get over it”. Sure, everything isn’t picture perfect, but I have so many things in my life to happy and thankful about.
- A son who is my absolute world. Just thinking about him brings the biggest smile to my face and warms my heart.
- A family that is always there to listen to me and love me, no matter what.
- Friends that listen to my broken record and always make me feel welcome. No 5th wheel.
- A roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back.
- A job to go to each day so I can provide for myself and my son.
- My health and so much more……..
There are so many others out there that can’t say they have some of or any of these things, so I am truly blessed. Dwelling what I don’t have, doesn’t solve anything and is no way to live life and definitely not a kind of life I ever want my son to be subjected too.
It was a great party that I needed to have and now it is over. My only last complaint, I didn’t get a looty bag at the end of this party. 😦