Ten Years Ago……….

Ten years ago today I put on the dress, I took my Daddy’s arm to walk down that aisle, I said “I do”.  My head swirled with a future of white picket fences and happy endings.

Now ten years later, I didn’t get the happy ending that I envisioned that day, I have a different happy ending.  Sure, divorce is probably the farthest thing from the white picket fence life that I had wanted, but it doesn’t mean I still can’t have a life full of amazing memories and smiles.

Divorce doesn’t mean that I look back on my wedding day with bitterness and regret.  I still look back on my wedding day with fond memories and happiness.  Even pulling out my wedding album to get a few photos for this post did not bring any bad feelings.  Looking at those photos, I remember a day surrounded by friends and family, and nothing but pure joy.  At the moment, I could not have foretold the future that was ahead of me.

I look at those photos and I think…..Damn, I looked good.  And even through the worst of times, I never looked back on that day with an ounce of regret.

Because of that day, just over a  year later, I was able to see my greatest accomplishment.  The love of my life, my baby boy was born.  I didn’t know that kind of love existed until I held him in my arms.  And at that point I thought I had the perfect life…..until it all fell apart.

I am not going to dwell on how it all  came to and end, nor do I care to share it.  But the life that I thought that was all I ever wanted came to an end.  I was now a single Mom and didn’t know how I would ever get through it.

But I surprised myself, in fact, I think I have surprise a few people in my persistence to move forward and move onward with my life.  Sure, for the first few years, I let life get the best of me.  I allowed my sorrow and pain define me.  But one day I decided to stand up, and be the person I needed to be.  Not only for me, but for my son.

He needed a mother that was a role model, that made the best of what life was handed to her and not to dwell on the past.  Hardships make you stronger, not weaker. And moving forward was the best thing that could ever happen to me.  I was able to realize that was handed to me in life, was there for a reason.

And now ten years later, I have a family that supports me and loves me through thick of thin.  I have friends, some old and now some new that love me unconditionally and although I know I sometimes sound like a broken record, they still listen and tell me everything I am doing is okay.  Some of these friends, I would never had known had my life had taken that curve in the road.

My relationship with my son is more than I could have ever hoped for.  I look forward to every minute I am able to spend with him instead of looking for “me time”.  I get enough of that when he is not with me.  We make the best of the time we spend together instead of just allow each day to pass by without it having a reason. There are things we have done, places we have gone, that I don’t think we would have ever done if life hadn’t taken the path that it did.

Divorce does not have to be the end of the perfect life you pictured on the day you said your I do’s.  It just paints a different picture.  A picture that can mean bigger and better things.  A life that means a greater appreciation and stronger relationship with your children, your family, your friends.

Wedding Day Photos credit:  Danielle Wilson Photography – the most amazing wedding photographer a girl could ever ask for.  Thank you for capturing that day.